- You will most likely have to eat at a very fast rate, or watch your 100th meal go cold from your baby suddenly wanting nothing; crying is fun when mama wants to eat.
2. It will come to lunch time and you realise you have yet to eaten that day, even with a toddler I find sometimes once he’s fed, dressed and entertain I forget I need to eat myself!
3. Like your sweet things? I never thought I would be hiding from Logan trying to sneak an unhealthy snack, 8am ice-cream needs… in the cupboard, ‘Hide and seek is fun’ I say.
4. Once they are one plus you will get your old sleeping pattern back and feel amazing, wrong! Just last night Logan woke for his dummy. I am yet to have a not so sleepy day, that kid is tiresome.
5. While pregnant and with a newborn all your non mum friends want a piece of the cuteness, bam the kid starts becoming loud and messy; So glad I have mum friends who relate, unlike my others… you traitors
6. They are not newborns for long, before you know it you have a walker and all your nice things become their mission to destroy.
7. Shopping becomes about them, I never go shopping for just me, or if I intend to I still end up buying Logan a new outfit or toy. Really shopping for our kids gives us more joy.
8. You will never be on time for things, preparing to go out feelings like you are preparing for a holiday; Suncream, hat, toddler dressed… sh** I’m still in my pjs.
9. You will realise who are the nice (worth friending) mums and who knows best and feels the need to tell other mums that your toddler is a naughty little sh**. ‘Logan… two year olds are not allowed to be naughty!’ I do apologise that my child isn’t perfect like yours, kindly leave my life, to prevent more torture… to my child.
10. Lastly leading of number nine, we become sassy protective parents, one comment about our child or our parenting all hell breaks loose. DO NOT TALK ABOUT A TWO YEAR OLD! like really he’s two, who even talks about a two year old? or even another mum, we are all in the same boat.
What no one really tells you is, when they first talk, first walk, first smile and just everything single thing that they do, gives us that warm fuzzy feeling. Having a child is the most rewarding thing I have ever done, Logan is my biggest and best achievement. He can be one naughty monster but he’s my naughty monster, he has the biggest heart and gives the most amazing hugs.